the act

There is a tender intimacy, a sensuality… a physical touch, a spiritual confrontation, a soul drain… when drawing and painting.

To translate the ecstasy or numbness of our moments into dust or crystalline cream onto a taut façade…

Lifting the hand, arching fingers to grasp the charcoal, feeling the size, length and density of the stick, the tiny fibers of the paper, the pressing of the dried twig to the substrate, the sound of the dust on rough surface, the scratch of the stroke, the harsh texture on the flat light rectangle…

Raising the eyes, pushing back the hair, brushing the forehead, bending the hand to grasp the brush, feeling the smooth stalk handle, surveying the crosshatched canvas, gesso stirred and dried on skin, tears in the throat, readying the dance, dipping on glass palette, tufts of paint as frosting, butter, cream, lotion, oil, a salve, a bath for the weary traveler, the pigments of cerulean sky, earth ochre, leafy lime, gray bone, crimson scar, the anxious flow of blood and adrenal fatigue, the ache of the elbow, the sore shoulder pivot, blending the ointment, the spread of gelatinous affection on the tactile stretched sheet…

Air to solid, idea to synapse to limb to tool to substance, fingertip to surface, sable to cloth, hesitation of a breath, anticipation of a heartbeat, reach of a ligament, retract the joint, wonder at the hope, pause before disappointment, reset, remove, retry, redux, color, line, shape, value, rhythm, walk, step, handstand, dance, exasperation, balance, reentry, move, mix, remix, flow, turn, stop, twist, turn, blot, scrape, cover, erase, reapply, reverberate, repeat

Disjointed remembering the resemblance of a memory…

To saunter an image, to release a tangle of senses, the cool calm of evenings, the taught drag of a new sprig of leaves, the ether born before time, the thick balm of dough, the thin dare of ice

To raise amnesia’s fence on the small faces packed in photo albums in cardboard boxes in closets dark

Suppressing gently, firmly, the habit to control, to please, to not offend, to make nice, to cover, to obey

For it is time to allow a fresh space for soul-spin release, to quest the edge of reality, to release the squiggle of pre-lingual ideas, to enjoy the unfurling process as often advising others to do, yet now to encourage myself, to water the vines of new ideas, to reform the liquidity of methods, to lower my guard, to uncover the hidden joy, to primal scream without ceasing, to dissolve fear, to fan a living spark, to fly over the usefulness of industry, to comfort my surviving soul, to admit

“There is a tender intimacy…”

July 2019